friendship.

we're all here looking for good friends ;)

hey there & welcome back to the blog!

today we are talking about friendship!! like i promised in my 2024 recap, i have a lot to say on this topic :) it's all kind of jumbled and all over the place, but i hope something resonates with you <3

“sweet friendships refresh the soul and awaken our hearts with joy.” ‭‭proverbs‬ ‭27‬:‭9‬ ‭(tpt)

the biggest thing i've learned:

pay attention to what people do more than what people say.

in friendship, there are two things needed (in my opinion):

1. personality. you need to like the other person, their energy, how they treat people, how you can have fun together. you don't have to be similar, but you click.

2. their actions. they need to prioritize you. they need to try just as much as you do. they show you they want to be your friend.

so often, there is one without the other. i love their personality, but they don’t ask to hang out. they want to be friends, but i don’t feel happier and loved after we are together. usually it’s the first one for me. i see so much good in people, but they don’t care to be friends. and you know what, that’s okay. it’s rough though. that’s for sure.

every person we meet deserves to be acknowledged. smiling and waving at everyone is something i really want to do all the time.

i want to have conversations with strangers, to have geniune moments with unexpected people.

however, friendship is a whole different level.

especially being close friends.

we can be friendly with everyone. but we don’t need to be friends with everyone. we need to speak kindly of everyone, but we don’t need to hang out with everyone who is ever kind to us. we need to be selective, as we only have so much energy and time. so who do we choose?

thoughts & quotes that have helped me so much with this!!

• the quality of your friendships are a mirror of your relationship with yourself. if you're not friends with yourself, how can you be a true friend to anyone else?

• make friends in real life, not through your phone.

• "never admire quietly. give people their flowers while they’re here."

• maybe God is not giving you friends right now because you would go to them first, making them an idol before Him. maybe He is putting you in a lonely season so you can make Him your friend.

• you never know when a stranger will become a friend!

• God can help you discern who are your true friends

• we need to look “outside the box” when trying to find friends. usually it’s not the “popular” people who need (or want) more friends!

• “having just one good friend means the world takes on new meaning. one good friend can be your entire world.” - the happiest man on earth (book by eddie jaku)

• help your friends become.

• how far will you go to bring your friends to Jesus?

• if we don’t make time for friends, then we won’t have any.

• “stay away from people who make you feel like you’re hard to love !!”

• “you are not for everyone, and that’s okay.”

• “some people talk to you in their free time, others free their time to talk to you. know the difference.”

• “when something is right for you, it will give you energy. that’s how you will know.”

• “and if i asked you to name all the things you love, how long would it take to name yourself?”

• “if you’re so full of love, why don’t you give yourself some?”

• “as sensitive beings, what we consume, we become. be selective of who & what has access to your energy.” @sunbeam.child

• “you look happier even since you let people lose you instead of begging them to chose you.”

• “stop being the one who always makes the efforts. relax and let the ship sink.”

• “there are people who would split the ocean in half just to be near you. so why would you ever settle for less?”

• “being loved is the minimum. make sure you’re also valued, respected, prioritized, desired, heard, understood, and supported.”

• “you are not a ‘maybe’ darling, you are a solid ‘yes’ and you deserve nothing less.”

• “sometimes you don’t get what you want because you deserve better.”

• “it’s about who stands in the rain with you, when they also have a choice ot be dry. remember that.”

• “do not let your loneliness lower your standards.”

• “you make everyone around you feel seen. that is your superpower.”

• “i didn’t speak to you, because i hoped you’d speak to me.”

• “the essence of life is to communicate love.”

i hope some of those hit home.

& ofc here is my pinterest board with quotes full of stuff like this if you really want to get inspired :)

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next, i want to share a poem i wrote.

don't use it as a comparsion trap, but as an inspiration. there are people out there who will be this kind of friend to you. every friend is different, and this poem is a collection of things my friends have done for me that have shown me what true friendship looks like.

true friends

the real ones

get super excited about things you make,

they read all your blog posts

it’s not a question if they’re going to subscribe.

they ask you how you’re doing

and love the messaage when you say

you’re doing so so good.

they ask if you’re going to an event

and if you want to drive up with them.

they tell you how beautiful you are,

always hyping you up.

they text you their high and low

every day and ask you for yours.

they send you a list of plans

to do when you go to hang out together.

they save you a seat on the bus

without you even asking.

sometimes they like every single text you send

they send you songs and listen to the ones

you send them, asking for more.

they apologize for things that might

hurt your feelings. they think about that.

they listen to all your podcast episodes

or as many as they can.

they cover your duolingo streak

when you’re gone.

they give you long hugs, they hold on longer

and hold you when you’re crying.

they talk with you so nonstop

that you have to tell them to leave & go home :)

they give you back massages

and ask you to braid their hair.

they read your poems

and look at you with love and say

“i really liked that one.”

they send you voice messages

because texting is mid.

they smile so big when they see you.

these are the real ones.

who have given me so much hope

that i don’t need to settle

for any less.

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i've learned a lot about friendships in high school, and especially last year, as a few friends stopped being my friend, and i realized i didn't want to put so much energy into some people who weren't being a friend back to me. and while we need to end friendships with love and communication (!), sometimes it's best to have space. but also remember that relationships are complicated, and we're going to mess them up sometimes! so give yourself grace <3

soon, i'm doing a post on texting and the digital side of friendships and what i've learned about that, so stay tuned. in the meantime, i hope this post gives you some encouragement to be a friend to yourself. treat yourself like a friend. and choose to spend energy on people who treat you like that, too. remember, the world is full of people. there are friends who you haven't even met. :)

one of my biggest goals in life (my six-word story) is

try to make friends everywhere, always.

but i have to remind myself that sometimes, we gotta let the ship sink. we love, and then we watch. all relationships are two-sided. protect your heart, as you would protect your friend's. and pray about it. <3

love you all!!

see you next week as i share my christian playlist! all the best vibes :D

xoxo, kate

ps i just published a new podcast episode with my friends pearl & mayim so make sure you don't miss that one :)

pss i love love love comments!! they make me so happy! leave your name please so i know who you are :) thanks <33